Okay, so here’s the deal. Tali loves the fridge. I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in. She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can. Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there. And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water. I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else. And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight. So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.
Fridge cat just got weirder. Today Tali got into the bathroom while I was showering, which of course made me a little nervous. I didn’t want her to freak out and hurt herself or go on a scratching spree. But evidently she loves water, so she jumped in and just splashed around for a while and got back out. But then she kept whining to get back in, so my boyfriend put a cooler down so she could get in and out with ease, which she took great advantage of. She’s soaking wet now, and very content.
I told Tali she was famous. She and her stuffed husky celebrated.
there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
someday someone is gonna be so soft and gentle with your heart, you’re gonna be so glad you kept it open, you’re gonna wonder why you ever thought about quieting it down
